i built up an optimistic front only to crumble it all overnight. the wrestle with all the sudden negative punches turned out to be futile. i raised the white flag as the mental screen shut down all possible options and i am left to let fate intervene. as much as i choose to believe that the harder you work, the luckier you’ll get, im beginning to question the word, jinx.

many coaxed by quoting ‘rezeki’. maybe not now. maybe later. maybe never. is it ‘unislamic’ of me to feel that this concept does not satisfy me? after all, aren’t we all encouraged to be persistent and not to yield to such obstacles? lo and behold my fellow shrinkdom, i will take a stand today. i will appeal against the cruel rejections. say Nay! i will not accept! and may Allah chooses what’s best for me because only He knows best. Amin.

i appreciate the irony, believe me.